The Dictionary of Everyday Quidditch Terms
by Malhearst
Summary: Katie is telling a stranger about her problems with Oliver in the one language he'd understand.


**Author's Note:** Written for QLFC (Season 4, Finals 1). Position: Keeper for the Falmouth Falcons

 **Word Count:** 1,145

 _Write about Katie Bell and Oliver Wood. The story must contain a simile (underlined) and a section written in epistolary form._

* * *

The library lay quiet and unobtrusive at the end of the hallway. A soft light emanated from within, beckoning her closer, and, stepping in, Katie Bell saw no one. Not even Madam Pince sat at her perch; no watchful eyes followed from the shadows.

Katie knew the way to the shelf before the path registered in her head. The book─ _Eponymous Quidditch Moves and Tricks_ ─stood out like a sore thumb amongst the others; a piece of parchment was clenched between the pages, rising to scrape against the bottom of the next shelf.

For a couple of weeks now, this particular book had served as a messenger. Every other day, a new letter would wait for her; every other day, she would write one back. The sender was anonymous and delightful. He—she assumed; the handwriting was atrocious—was witty and serious and stupid in all the right ways.

Flicking open the book to grab the letter within, she sat down.

 _I could help you._

Disappointment registered first. Four measly words. Excitement registered second. In her last letter, she'd complained that the Quidditch terms were difficult to get the hang of, and now he wanted to help. Shooting the empty library a couple of furtive glances, she brought out her inkwell and quill, writing, 'Yes, please.'

The next day, she found a response.

 _I have an idea. We take turns explaining the terms to each other with references to our own lives. It'll be the closest thing we get to knowing who the other person is. We'll do it like dictionary entries. I'll go first to give you an idea._

 **Hawkshead Attacking Formation** , adj.

 _Always surrounded by two people that act as shields, guardians, or other deflectors._

Katie scribbled, 'Is that a description of you or someone you know?'

So began the Dictionary of Everyday Quidditch Terms.

 _It's someone I know._

* * *

'Mysterious. My turn, then.

 **Bludger Backbeat** , _adj.  
_ With a sense of nonchalance, on the brink of indifference.

I thought it described your response well.'

* * *

 _Hah, you don't say. I didn't mean to discourage you, but we had a deal: no names. You could say that I was guilty of_

 **Double Eight Looping** , verb  
 _Guarding one's behaviour._

* * *

'Well played. I guess, in that case, that I'll

 **Sloth Grip Roll** , _verb  
_ Let something slide.

But really, I thought this exercise was partly because you wanted to know something about me? If we keep going like this, we'll have used up the terms before I get a chance to tell you my favourite colour.'

* * *

 _You're right. What_ is _your favourite colour?_

* * *

'I'm sorry, is that a

 **Finbourg Flick** , _noun  
_ Cheap trick to score, see _pick-up line._ '

* * *

 _My, my. I do think I just witnessed someone trying to_

 **Transylvanian Tackle,** verb  
 _Pretending to interpret something as romantic to see someone else's reaction in order to glean if they're romantically interested._

* * *

'I won't even honour that with a response.'

* * *

 _Good. Then I'll do the talking for a while. I suppose you're_

 **Reverse Passing** , verb  
 _Letting someone else take control._

 _But serious business, huh? I'm going to suppose you're a Quidditch fan. I've tried using these terms with my friends for years, and after all this time, they still don't know what they mean. Not that my friends don't like Quidditch, but it takes a hard-core fan to be interested in something like the rich history and the strategic terms. I appreciate that about you._

 _Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw is in two days. Will you be there?_

 _And just so you won't feel cheated: my favourite colour is red._

* * *

'I think I can safely tell you that you're right. I'm a Quidditch fan. Which, incidentally, is also why it took me so long to respond. I had some preparations to make before the match, although I won't tell you what they were; it would make it too easy to tell me apart, and like you said, we have a deal.

Speaking of the match, though, I have a new word for you.

 **Plumpton Pass** , _noun  
_ When you gain glory accidentally, but look good doing it.

An example would be the match last Saturday. I won't name any names, but there was someone at that match who made a Plumpton Pass. I'm sure you can fill in the blanks.'

* * *

 _I'm not sure I know who you're talking about. At first glance, I'd say you were referring to the Gryffindor Keeper, but that can't be right. It was no accident that he received the glory for that match. I mean, he practically caught the Snitch for the Seeker. Not that the rest of the team didn't do well. The Chasers did well under his supervision. He is, after all, the Captain of the team._

 _But if you're calling him a_

 **Snitchnip** , noun  
 _Someone doing something that is usually someone else's job._

 _I can only say that he did that perfectly well._

* * *

'Yeah, absolutely. It was very

 **Starfish and Stick** , _adj.  
_ Foolish, unsafe, bold. What a Gryffindor.'

* * *

 _Well, he isn't in that house for nothing._

* * *

'Well, aren't you very loyal?'

* * *

 _Gryffindor_ is _my team._

* * *

'Your team?'

* * *

 _You know what I mean._

…

 _You have a crush on the Gryffindor Keeper, don't you?_

* * *

'Moving on.

There aren't a lot of terms left. If any of them apply to my life, I'd say it was

 **Parkin's Pincer** , _noun  
_ Where two people flank a third to ask him/her a series of questions they don't want to answer.'

* * *

 _How specific. How mysterious._

* * *

'Tell me about it. I can't tell you who they asked me about, of course. There was something off about it, though. They were asking as if they knew exactly what to look for. That sounds weird. I don't know how to explain it.

By the way, you're obviously a Gryffindor fan, which means you're a Gryffindor.'

* * *

 _No, no. That makes perfect sense. Sounds like they were acting as a_

 **Dopplebeater Defence** , noun  
 _One or more wingmen._

 _And hey, no specifics._

* * *

'I doubt it. The person they were asking about keeps

 **Woolongong Shimmying** , _verb  
_ Trying not to show your real emotions in fear that they're not reciprocated.

That's perhaps unfair. He's oblivious enough that I doubt he'd even notice if he had feelings for me. He definitely didn't send them. Actually, now that I'm putting this down on paper, I realise how stupid I've been. He only has eyes for one thing.

You and he would get along great.

Maybe I should just move on.'

* * *

 _Are you sure you're not just pulling a_

 **Wronski Feint** , noun  
 _One person walking away to see if the other will follow._

* * *

'Let's talk about something else, shall we?'

* * *

 _Sure. Only one term to go._

* * *

 _Knock knock. You there?_

* * *

 _It's been weeks._

* * *

 _Katie, come on._

* * *

 _I'm sorry. I guess it's fitting that I get the last term, then. My turn to_

 **Dionysus Dive** , verb  
Dive in, variation of the _Chelmondiston Charge._


End file.
